Deconstructed Architect
I’d like to welcome all of our viewers this evening. We’ll get right back to our regularly scheduled program, but first I’d like to talk to you for just a moment about a dire situation in our cities and towns: deconstructed architects.
In case you were unaware, a fairly recent trend in building design has been ‘Deconstruction’, in which buildings are conceptually disassembled, then only partially put back together, perhaps with floating walls, or disjointed roofs, or beams that seem to go nowhere, or floors made of glass. It’s a trend that has, unfortunately, given way to the excesses of wavy roofs of shining metal, and buildings that seem to warp and lean — all those things that make normal people go “WTF?”.
Tragically, deconstruction is now affecting the very architects who practice it. Gone are the mere colored suspenders and oversized bow ties of yesteryear. Today, architects of a certain age are far more likely to sport flapping graph paper, templates and triangles, and rulers (or ‘scales’ as the initiated refer to them) of all sorts and sizes, jutting at all kinds of crazy angles.
And this epidemic has now spread to a younger generation of designers, leaving them with hanging mice, tipping tablets, and digitizers in disarray. During this recent recession alone, whole flocks of these fledgling architects have hit the streets — disjointed, distressed, disemployed, and disempowered.
But you can help. Yes, just $7.95 can provide a poor deconstructed architect with a Vente Iced Caramel Macchiato — something that can help him or her literally (as well as figuratively) pull themselves together. Your donation of $24.95 will allow an out-of-work and out-of-sorts architect put one more arrugula-with-pine-nuts-mandarin-orange-wedges-and-gruyere salad on the table tonight. And for those viewers capable of sending a generous $89.95, some disadvantaged designer can go home in a suitably precious patterned Barney’s button-down of 100% combed Egyptian cotton.
So, can’t you help? Won’t you help? Operators are standing by, so please call. And, thank you.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled program.
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